Someone come and rescue me from this place

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 00:48:37 GMT

okay, so prom was a blast.. ill post pics later, and the full update.

last night, it was so much fun! i hung out with john ash and johnny, and it was a blast! u can read about it in john and ashleys journal.... but ONE thing not mentioned (because they didnt know): When i got home, I changed into jammies, and when i looked at my butt on my pants and i had bird poo poo on it! it was so funny. i washed it off, so it wouldnt stain.

went to the barn with liz and i had fun! i finished my pictures for photography, and i think they came out good!!

peace

Mon, 04 Apr 2005 22:29:45 GMT

*burp*
man, i hate lakeland. why does this stupid city have to be so boring and stupid! theres nothing to do, and its just dumb!
lizzy is in the kitchen right now painting a horse thing, and im on here, just trying to find something to take up the time. since basically the rest of my week is taken up except sunday and monday, these days are slow. lol oh well
this weekend was weird. but yet fun.

ACTs on saturday.
PROM on next saturday
CAMPING on the following saturday (hopefully)

im going to try to do alot of cool stuff. lol like i said, try

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 22:57:54 GMT

cool beans. so, my computer went dumb and made me mad, but its okay, i think.

me aly and liz are sitting here at my house, just talking to mom. we went to the barn today with rigo and johnny, and that was fun.
aly has been staying the night every night because her water is not working. lol :) fun times.

liz is having some guy problems.
courtney is getting freaking dark! lol thats right, youre getting a tan. :)

me, aly, and liz and whoever else is probably going paintballing with johnny and them.. and camping soon! :) yayayayayayayay.

life is good

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 00:46:31 GMT

okay. everybody needs to just drop everything becasue its not going anywhere. if you dont like me, then dont reply to my journal unless i said something about you or your actaully my friend. i dont reply to anyone elses journals if i dont like them or dont talk to them. it just makes sense.
thanks

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 16:57:23 GMT

i write in my journal 2 times within 6 months and i have all this stupid crap going on?? what on earth id going on with everyone. it must be a full moon or something. especially since i didnt even say anything mean in the journal.
this is the time that everyone just either stops talking to one another, or stops living in the past. everybody has done some stupid things in the past years of high school, and i know that people would agree. but thats the past. this is the present. dont let things get you down. especially little peddy things. no matter what people are always going to be talking about somebody else behind their backs. let it go. for how much that may hurt, just let it go.. if you let how other people talk about you rule your life, your not going to live a very good one.
enough about that.

went to the beach. that was a lot of fun. i hope aly got everything for her bday that she wanted.
and im mad at you johnny.... just because i can be. lol
oh. i love you courtney, and im jealous. (you get to have a lot of fun this week) :)

Happy St. Patricks Day

Thu, 17 Mar 2005 23:33:14 GMT

i dislike the rain, unless it is thundering with it. othermise, i dont like it.

i have a date to prom?? woah.

tuner bash? or not... paintballing? maybe...

i swear, some people just dont know how to let go, or better yet, ask people stuff, civilly, face to face. i guess some things wont change. oh well.

live life fun, and make mistakes (and learn on them)

The First Affair
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nontheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling, I can't lie to you. Ive been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didnt wake up until eight o'clock." The wife galnced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! Youve been out playing golf!"
The Second Affair
There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After monts of trying, the wife finally got pregnant and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and told her there was no way he could be the father of that child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fatherd!" Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time."
The Third Affair
A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever seen! "Im sorry, Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "but I cant send you off to be cremated with that tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity." With that, the coroner used his tools to remove the dead mans scaling. He stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed it to was his wife. "i have something to show you that you wont believe," he said, and opened up his briefcase. "Oh my God!" the wife screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"
The Fourth Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stnad in the corner." Then she quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then dusted him with talcum powder. "Dont move until i tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend youre a statue." "Whats this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, its a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom, I liked it so much, I got one for us too." No more was said about the statue, not even later when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwish and a glass of milk. "here," he said to the statue, "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths for three days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water."
The Fifth Affair
A man walks into a night club one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a berr. "Certainly Sir, thatll be 1 cent." "One cent?", exclaimed the man. So the man glances over the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?" "Certainly Sir," replies the barman, "but that comes to real money." "How much money?" insuires the man. "4 sents," the bartender replied. "Four cents?", exclaimed the man. "Wheres the guy who owns this place?" The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife." The man says, "Whats he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied, "The same thing im doing to his business."
The Sixth Affair
Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "Becky my darling," he whispered. "Hush my love," she said. "Rest, dont talk." he was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must confess." "Theres nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky, "everythings all right, go to sleep." "No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I ... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and you mother!" "I know, my sweet one," whispered Becky, "let the poison work."

Do I dare jump?

I think I might

Thu, 17 Mar 2005 00:39:40 GMT

so guys, having a lot of friends is cool! i like it.
beach on monday for aly's bday! :) excitedness.
spring break is in 2 whole days... hmmm, what to do what to do. possibilities are endless.
i love hanging out with courtney! :) shes the coolest the the cool people. lol (dont ask)
i have to have a talk with some people. its odd how all of a sudden, people stop talking to you..
Friday night, i got down, but i got cheered up, by my lizzy!

so, does anyone want to play shoot the duck???

(take me paintballing!)

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 23:05:38 GMT

howdy hoes.

im over at the john masters.

so.. fun times this weekend. i love having a lot of friends.

i miss you courtney!!!!!!!!!!! did u and russ have a fun time this weekend?? ill see you tomorrow!

i have pics, but not on this computer, so ill update later.

peace bitches

Thoughts of the day...

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 23:48:38 GMT

Love can be good and bad.. but overall.. the experience is grand.

i love you

Off with some friends tonight. love you courtney joe

I never walked on water never saw
A reason to be going out that far
I never found a star that made a wish
But now the sky is listening to my hart

It can brake me, make me
If they want they can chase me
Love me, Hate me I dont care anymore

[Chorus:]
Till you, It was nothing but lonely nights
It was nothing but sad goodbye's
For me to fall through
Come true like change an awakening
Somebody is making me
The only one in the room
But nobody can do, Nobody till you...

And the more you talk the less I fear
No matter what you say we are still in the same hemosphere
And its comforting just knowing that
Where ever I go a part of me is staying here with you

So take me shake me
If you want you can chase me
Love me for me and stay away from the door

[Chorus]

Why can a world where if he
If you ever went away
Oh and I cant go back to where
I recon it will never be the same

[Chorus 2x]

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 21:46:08 GMT

So... Our Day started off as a good day... Not really, but it was an okay day for both me and Courtney.. Our lovers were planning on giving us a surprise. We were both looking forward to a good day. Well, James and Russ beeped us when we were at my house and said they were ready (we were supposed to be meeting them at Lake Bonny). So me and Courtney began to walk to my car....... And to our surprise, we were attacked by our "lovers" WITH MOTHER FREAKING WATER BALLOONS! So.. as we ran for our lives.. (well I did. Courtney jumped in my car and locked the door...) I took some pictures...

They were trying to figure out how to get Courtney here... I was just observing.. in the middle of the road, by my neighbors yard.

Russ decided he would throw a damn balloon at me while i was getting the picture... thankfully, no body got wet at the end of this episode but Russ himself.

After they were done being boys, they were telling us their orginal plan, which was to go to the Citrus Festival, but we couldnt go because Russ had to be home at 8.. not enough time.. Courtney was pissed though after they did that.. or so she was acting... lol After that we decided to go to Family Fun Center

Courtney was being all emo, because Russ hit her arm... haha, ahh.. sweet memories at Dobbins Park.. Oh, anyways.....

Look at this handsome guy............... even though he doesnt look all that great. lol

Sweet love, with Russ' big head..

CHICKEN HEAD! and kisses

my lover.. isnt he so fine?!

Mommie.. :) She didnt want to have her picture taken..

i tried to snatch a better pic of him... but i love all of them!

peace out bitches

A Fun Day at JCPenny

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 22:52:01 GMT

oh my godsh

First, me and Courtney figured that we wanted to be drama queens.. and to be a drama queen, you need.... DRESSES
Courtney looks like shes picking her nose.. hehe, and that dress on me was itchy, and i couldnt get it to zip up in the back! haha
Here, we have Courtney showing off her wonderful 'shoes' that she would be wearing to the ball... arent they fabulous??
Awww... the Queen Royalty is beginning to set in. She is in complete Awe of herself. :)
a faboulous picture of Courtneys head.. isnt the hi-lites just completely exquisite? I think that they are in dire need of a b-e-a-utiful dress, that would compliment her hair.. (and i am talking about what?!?!?!) lol
Guys, I fell in complete love with this $179.99 dress.. I mean, i did NOT want to take it off... i was sad. :(
Courtney was having some difficulties with this dress.. she couldnt tie it. lol
courtney looks like the dress is killing her.. but to tell you the truth, outside of it making her boobs look pointy, she looked gorgeous in that dress

I figured I would use the shaw as a headband.. SEXY
The floofy thing was attached to her dress funny.. she looks like a ballerina
any body want some gawdy looking rings?! only $5 each!! any buyers?!
PURPLE LIPSTICK!? what has the world come too... crazy people..
Shes getting ready for someone to KISS HER ASS! any takers?
we gotta pimp the glasses.. we just had to...
Sexy bootums... :) wild passionate sex.
WANNABE GRANNY PANTIES!!! shes gonna have a wedgie!!

Peace out bitches!

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 22:06:23 GMT

its funny, cause i went from a stubborn, complaining, never did what people really wanted to type of person to a more quiet, i feel like i have to tend to everyones needs before mine, and just.. there kinda person. but yet, people have told me im changing for the worst. its funny how some of the worst traits found in other people and be some of the best found in others.

well people, im letting u know that im just going to go back to how i was then. and if u guys arent satisfied still, then too f-in bad. Im tired of trying to get up to everyone elses expectations of me. Im just going to live life, and live life fun and exciting and take chances and just have fun! if u have a problem with me, then just tell me. dont tell everyone else and then expect the message to never come to me. im not going to care if u come up to me. im just going to say, okay. and thats it. at least u got it off ur chest rite? and ill do the same for everyone else. oh and as everyone knows, people make mistakes.

its always good to give a friend advice on something, or tell them your thought, but when you say that u dont want to hang with them n e more, then thats taking it to the extremes. never leave ur friends because of something that they decided to do. what ur supposed to do (if ur a true friend) is be there, and tell them that u think that its not a good idea, and give them advice about situations, but u dont stop talking to them. friendship is the closest bond and that bond is what keeps people together, and not going insane. that bond can save lives (smoking, drugs) and it can make people happy. it can hurt people too, but its not an intentional, its just a, im lookin out for you.

well im out people.
love you all

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 18:51:47 GMT

wow. my computer is letting me write today.
woohoo.
im sick. i came to school late today.
this weekend was.. eh.
friday nite sucked pure balls. i mean, it had its ups and stuff, but it just mainly sucked. people were all.. drunk, and yeah. oh well. i found out who were true friends though, so i guess thats cool..
saturday i went shopping with mom, to sams. that nite, i hung out with everyone and yeah. no details. dont feel like typing it.
yesterday was fun. me jen and johnny went to the movies, and i really had fun laughing myself to death.. lol.

so yeah.
any ideas of how to change a life? open for hire.

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 15:13:55 GMT

whoop whoop.

yesterday was okay. (during the day)
woke up at 615, went to my moms work. ran around kingdom come. me and russ walked off and got a bunch of free stuff. i saw adrian and chad hutton. then lizzy came up there. then i saw james and ashlee. then jennifer came. and we were all chillen on he hill and they all got to pet this dalmation. it was funny. then we got funnel cake. and then we left, came back here. everyone and there grandma came over. we all left and went to lizzys, then to family fun center. we played games and played lazer tag. i came in 3rd
the people who were there were:
Me
Jenn
Lizzy
Abbey
John T
John B
Seth
Lawton
Julian
Mike
David
Josh K

then we all went to the movies, and i was kinda down, and then i said that i f-in didnt care what movie we saw, in a mellow tone, and i hope johnny didnt get mad at me for it.
well johnny liz abbey and lawton went and saw ladder 49 and everyone else saw team america. it was a funny movie, for when i was awake that is. lol
came home
talked to jenn
went to sleep.

we didnt go to halloween horror nights because they couldnt get the tickets. it was sold out at every college they went to, and we couldnt get em. but instead we all hung out and stuff. it was fun.
and today i think that (if mommie lets me), me jenn david and mike and other people are going to hang out. not sure what were going to do. and i think that james might be hanging out with us too.. since he didnt get to go anywhere last nite

okay. im out.
peace

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 15:13:42 GMT

grr to all of society and its evil plans

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 00:12:54 GMT

today was a moderately good day, it was way better then yesterday, but i did still get down at times. :-/
i could NOT concentrate on anything today. no matter how hard i tried, i just couldnt do any of my work. i have to take 5 more pictures and then im done with that.
im talkin to jenn on the phone rite now.
brandons coming up to the school tomorrow.. whoop whoop

i got me a new cd today. ;)
after school was, okay. it was good at first then got dumb. i all yelled bye to everyone when i was leaving with james and steph but no one heard me :( but its all good.
tomorrow i might be going to the football game. i hope so man.

james and josh were playin football on the ps2 when i went to james', and james was losin at first, and he was all freaking out, but he ended up winning. it was funny to watch their reactions. lol
i saw marcus today at school. that was cool. lol

i sold my homecoming ticket, and justin stole one of my dogtag thingies. butthole.
and i almost got thrown in the garbage can.. AGAIN, twice. yeah, fun.

i want to reply to peoples journals, but i can really only reply to people who reply to things to where it gets sent to my email. it sucks.

AND DOMINIC!!!! I MISS YOU AND IM SORRY I HAVENT BEEN COMMENTING! I THINK THAT YOU NEED TO COME HOME.. NOW. LOL, NO BUT SERIOUSLY. AND I WILL STILL GET U SOME MICKEY D'S WHEN U GET HERE!
so yeah.

im out! see you guys on the flip side *turns around, like flipping :)*

WARNING WARNING

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 00:38:18 GMT

okay, listen up everybody!!!! well, those who care i guess...

my computer has been EXTREMELY retarded. more stupid then how it normally is. this means that i probably will NOT be replying in my journals, let alone read them, and if i do reply, then your lucky. lol. this also means that i wont be online as much and be writing in this journal. okay im done...

i kinda dont even want to keep a journal anymore because its like, everytime i get to the computer, my stomach starts turning, and i hate checking my mail and reading journal entries. i dont know why. i guess its fear, but i hate it.

so, i guess im going to halloween horror nights saturday nite for sure now. i REALLY need to sell my homecoming ticket because i dont want that money to go to waste (memories... sigh)

today pretty much sucked. i wanted to go home right when i got there. i noticed me be real quiet.. it sucks. things are really strange now. (i never realized how alone i am during the school day without... yeah.)
uhm, i got yelled at in 1st and 3rd period. i STILL have to finish taking pictures for photography. i only have 8 done.. *sigh* i dont even feel like doing work. 4th period.. man, that was boring. me and my friend james were playin hang man, and lawton joined in, but i kinda made him leave for reasons. (not being mean kinda leave)
after school was okay. nothing new really except a bunch of people stayed. i got a ride with james and derrick. we basically went to the north side for gas (we went orignally to get a football at sports, but never went cause james had a 'date' at 6.. lol) but we had to drop derrick off at the ball field.
came home.
saw russ.. :( it sucks that hes moving.
and did pretty much NOTHING.

i dont want to go to school tomorrow, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

i really want to start to hang out with allen justin luara and sam and them... i think it would be fun (i would still hang out with everyone else too.. so no worries. haha :) )

uhm, i didnt really get to read all of everyones journal, but i read in angies that she stole from tasha or something about how tell the opinion thing?!? yeah, well whatever that is, id like you guys to do it also. i KNOW that probably everyones comment is going to be bad, but im sure thats its nothing i havent heard before. from the previous incidents though that i did (made people feel left out.. etc) i really am trying not to do that, and honestly, i can see myself improving. i dont know if u guys would agree, but i can see the imporvements. dont forget to be anonymous.

yup. im going to go.

oh and i almost got thrown into a garbage can today at lunch by josh k.. but lizzy saved my life! (thank goodness)

peace to the world

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 22:44:01 GMT

good school day. it wasnt all that bad. combined things in chem. developed pictures until we ran out of photopaper. josh k broke my back pack. watched the rest of a movie while eating candy. did a dumb ws on a magazine.
after school comes..
eh, yeah, its only mother freaking obvious of what happened. sigh
nothin to say except, i had to do it. not because i dont care, but because im as lost as a damn stray puppy. idk.... im sry
so, idk if im going to homecoming or if im going to hhn. honestly, i could careless.

the best days of my life are gone now. i can already feel it and the next day hasnt even begun.

i have the greatest friends n e one could offer (sarcasm) minusing the actually good ones that is. i dont feel like explaining.

so yeah.
jv game was ok last nite.

im out
peace

Sun, 10 Oct 2004 15:48:04 GMT

yeah.. lol. yesterday was dumb.
yall read my journal, i said that me and mom were going to go out to eat and to the movies.. wellll..... COME TO FIND OUT. mom was just thinking of something to delay time to go get some food. (we went to walmart in FREAKING MULBERRY! lol) but when I got there, doug, jessica, lil doug, russ, lawton, julian, jessica, and james were there.. yeah. it was ackward. lol
well, basically everythings in jessicas journal.

before applebees:
-I saw josh k at the gas station and i saw his sisters new baby!! aww how cute
-dominic called me to wish me a happy bday while i told him i was going to bring him some mcdonalds.. haha
-i think someone else called me.. but my brain hurts... lol
-tasha called me.. thats rite, SHE was the next one.. lol okay anyway. she wished me a happy bday!! and she has a secret that she doesnt believe but yet, HER DREAM TOLD HER! why would her dream lie?? now tell me that people!!! lol ahahaha (told ya i was gonna put it in herr!!!) my poor baby didnt do n e thing yesterday.. i think. :( I LOVE YOU THOUGH! LOL
-uhm.. yeah. we basically went to the place.

i got carebears! :) i got 2 sharebears of 2 sizes.. but i didnt get one as big as tasha wish bear! lol loser!!! anyhow. i got 2 doezen of roses of james and lawton. and about a dozen of them got distributed out. lol

i really did have fun last nite though. this whole weekend has been so great!

oh, after we left the restaurant, ashley called me to wish me a happy bday, and SHE SCORED 2 GOALS AT HER SOCCER GAME!!! go ashley!! whoop whoop

i got to talk to brandon and jennifer too.. i talked to jenn through text messaging mainly. she sounded so sick though on the phone :(

well im out guys.
i really do appreciate everything u guys did. just wishin me a happy bday was all i really wanted. :) i love you guys

its my "birthday" i can cry if i want to

Sat, 09 Oct 2004 15:46:47 GMT

so, im the big 1-7 today.. woohoo (sarcasm) lol. i dont really feel too different.

last nite was mine and ashleys bday thing. omg, i had so much fun. i love my friends! :) i mean, for once, there was no drama really. i loved it. all there was was fun and laughter. we went to walmart twice, played some football, karyoked :), went through a memorie on a tape, danced, hung out, ate, drank, danced some more, got thrown into the pool and lost my glasses that brandon thankfully found, swam, hung out some more. thats just the BRIEF of it all. :) i really did have fun. THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO CAME. I LOVE YOU ALL. AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO ANGIE FOR LETTING US HAVE IT AT HER HOUSE! AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO ASHLEY FOR BRINGING HER KARYOKE MACHINE AND THE FOOD AND DRINKS! :) :)

people who were there (not in any particular order):
me
ashley
angie
tasha
jennifer
that one chick that came with will
will
johnny
steve
rigo
grady
brandon
kevin
mike
josh k

and i do believe that was it... to my knowledge anyway.
it was a load of fun!.. about the most fun ive had in a while!!!!

so today, im getting ready to leave to go out to eat, and i think??? the movies.. with mommie. it should be fun. mom got me a comforter set thats black white gray and tan with tan pillows and a neon blue clock thing, when i told her not to get me anything. what a punk!

im not sure if im doing anything else, but from what ive heard from a "secret source", i am going to be going somewhere, but I dont know.
well im out.

peace guys
i love you all

GREATEST TIME OF OUR LIVES

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 01:19:04 GMT

we were the happiest people around. nothing could ever ruin us.

we were the closest two people around. not a secret was kept from us.

we were beside each other all the way. in thick or thin.

nothing could come between us

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v154/jewelstone87/People/mencass.jpg

2004 WARPED TOUR
the best time of our lives. the best day that happened to us... but then, tragedy struck.

things went sour. we grew apart. didnt talk for a while.. but now,

were talking again, thank the lord.

I LOVE CASSIDY MARIE NICHOLS NO MATTER WHAT.

ps. i found it :)

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 21:03:58 GMT

How is everybody doing today?

me, im doing okay. I didnt want to go to school today, but I came when I heard that my lover was saddened. I came to her rescue! (thanx johnny for that email)

so n e way...
went to school, to nonsense. at least when i got there, i got to see my hunny bunny before 3rd period! i made her happy for that lil bit, and im glad i did.. even though it wasnt for the whole day.
i had a test in 3rd and 4th period. how dumb is that?

after school, nothing really happened but lawton trying to tip over the table with everyone on it. it was like titanic. pretty fun actually.

came home.. did nothing pretty much

im having family time this evening, my uncle nate is comin over (whom i havent seen in... a REALLY long time) and yeah.

THANK YOU EVERYBODY WHO IS SICK... JUST THANK YOU SOOO FREAKING MUCH. i am now becoming sick. my throat is botherin me on the right side, and its swelling up.. lol. grr to you guys.

ashley: what im going to do, is on my journal im going to make up different layouts, and then ill send them to you, so you can put them in ur override thing. and choose what u want.. ill at least get u started on it.. mkay?!

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 22:11:10 GMT

i just got back from the viewing. man, it was so hard not to cry. i was doing okay, with the occasional tear cause of mom.. when we got there, i did NOT want to go in. but i did. we sat in the back row. and grandma yopp was with us, well grandma yopp practically pulled mom up to the front to see nick. then nicole came over and sat by me basically at the SAME time aunt terri saw mom and was hugging her. when this happened, u could hear terri cry.. that made me start to ball. but then i sucked it up. brandon then came over to me, and he is putting so much guilt on himself. hes taking this so hard and i feel so bad for him. i was doing fine with him crying beside me until he said, "No more beach weeks..." That made me start to cry again. mom feels so bad because she wasnt in his life after dad left us. she wishes she was. she said that from now on, she really wants to talk to everyone, KIT, and get back closeness with terri and them.
I never did go up there to see nick. Everyone said that his face was bruised real badly because of the accident. I really dont get why God wanted him at such a young age.
I found out that they think that he wasnt wearing a seat belt.. because of how he landed. And that if he was wearing it, then he couldve survived. This has really made a change on everything for me. Losing a loved one because they got into a car wreck without a seatbelt really does change my perspecitve on a lot of things. I really hope that the people who read this DO start to wear seatbelts.. because to have things like this happen is not want we want.
I love you Nick! I really do miss you, and I know that your in a better place, but man, i wish you were here.

ps I will not be going to school tomorrow. I really want to but mom wont let me because of the funeral.. even though thats after school, but yeah.

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 15:31:13 GMT

last nite was freaking awesome.. but before that, lets go into yesterDAY.. :)

well, me mom and james went shoppin for Philips bday present.. and we went to places like ross and walmart and stuff, an i swear that everyone and their grandma decided they would call me yesterday! its funny cause n e other day, only like maybe one or two people would call, but instead, a bagillion people called... n e who. me and james started a "hitting game" thing to where we wanted the last hit on each other. it was pretty funny cause mom would be all like, will u kids stop! :) it was great. Bought some bucs stuff for the bucs game today, but now.. i dont know if im gonna be going to it.. *explain later*
so James decides to try and call everyone to see if they wanted to go to old town with him (while i went to Halloween Horror Nights :) ). Well from what mom told me, no one could go but derrick and derricks friend, but they had fun *explain later*

-Johns mom comes and gets me. and i couldnt find the handle to roll down the window. i felt dumb. lol :)
-Picked up Jennifer
-Met johnny and us kids got in the car with him so we could ride over to specs to get our ticket. (they tried to charge jessica more! ha)
-saw lawton and justin on their bikes
-went back to johns moms boyfriends house.
-all piled into the cars (boys vs girls) and left
-messed around on the walkie talkies
-got there. lol
-i was hyper outta my mind! i was like, skipping on my way up there and people were looking at me funny
-waited for it to opened while trying to get johnnys picture with jessicas camera.
-got inside and saw these.. alien wannabe things. lol
-went straight to the hulk and we DRAGGED jessica on it.. when we got on it, she was super scared. then AFTER the ride was done, she was chanting, "I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN!" see? i knew u would like it jessica!
-went to dr dooms fear fall.. i scared the crap outta johns mom.. :)
-went to spider man, that was rad. the guys when they load us onto the ride were trying to scare us.. it was funny
-left there, saw a cowboy on stilts. lol (jennifer and jessica about was all over this man throughout the nite)
-came to a dead end.. turned around.
-man, we went through EVER house there.. it was great. and the chainsaw guys, which usually DONT scare me, did this time. theyd start them things RITE by ur leg, and thats just creepy.
-we went into the nightmares one whichhas all of the themes from the previous years in it at once.. (jack the CLOWN was one.. and jenns deathly afraid of them) my poor jennifer had a death grip on me and cried :( I LOVE YOU JENNIFER!
-the parade went by and me jessica and johnny were standing there trying to get beads, but we werent really getting n e.. except one hit johnny in the head. haha. so me and jessica went up front and got some.
-OMG OMG OMG we rode that new ride at universal, the revenge of the mummy or what not.. THAT IS MY NEW ALL TIME FAVORITE RIDE! i loved that thing. it was super cool :)
-i got a bunch of pics, but il have to put em in here after i develop em.
-we watched the bill & teds show. that was an extremely funny show. it was great *I SAW USHER! AND PRESIDENT BUSH AND KERRY.. AND MICHAEL JACKSON AND HARRY POTTER AND THE WICKED WITCH FROM WIZARD OF OZ AND QUEER EYE FOR THE STR8 GUY GUYS.. AND THE OLSEN TWINS... ETC ETC
well why we were waiting to go in, i saw that james had beeped my phone, so i beeped him back and he was teling me about how him and derrick went kayoking, and first, derrick sung eminem, and then they both sung garth brooks- friends in low places. and while i was talking to them, they beeped back singing it! omg it was so great. the people next to me were listening and yeah, i loved it.
-the guys and jenn rode fear fall again, and me and jess hung out and walked arond and everything.. well i was trying to get jess to take a pic with one of the stilt guys, but she wouldnt, and he saw me and called over one of the guys that worked there so we could get a pic.. and he said that the reason why jess didnt want to get the pic was because she thought he was cute.. haha ;)

Those are pretty much the hilites. if i missed n e, im almost POSITIVE that jenn or jess will plop it in their journal :)

well as we waited for the other car to get to steves house, mom beeped me, and she told me that she had some bad news. well that bad news was that nicks viewing was today at 4-6.. and u know, me and mom were supposed to go to the bucs game today.. well i told mom that i dont want to go (not because i dont love him, just because thats WAY too hard for me... theres no way.) and shes still comtimplating now on what were doing.. but basically, if she goes, i have NO choice.. and i really dont want to go. if i go, then im not going inside...... his funeral is tomorrow at 3
i didnt go to bed last nite until 4 something in the morning, and i woke up at 10, unable to sleep n e more. then i heard my door and it was matt.. so yeah..

i wonder whats going to happen today...

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 00:17:46 GMT

*forgot this*
i think that hes here by me.. or at least hes here at some points in time.

last nite, i was changing into some shorts before i went to bed, and then all of a sudden, i had this feeling that someone was clinching my throat, but not in a choking way, more in a joking way.. ya know? and it happened so quickly that i didnt know what was happening.. and then it was like, i felt this presence in my room, and it just felt like it was nick. it was really weird. i really think that it mightve been him.

me and mom were talking about the past.. and mom was going all into it, talking about when he was a lil kid and everything. she feels guilty also for not really being in his life lately, basically since dad left us.

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everyones going to have to tell me how ladder 49 is! i need some juicy info.. lol

peace